Instincts
by Loopstagirl
Summary: Arthur knew that he was avoiding Leon. But did he want the man to say that he didn't blame him, or that he did? The King wasn't sure. Spoilers for 5x04.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

**Sorry I'm late with this one. So this is based on ep4, so I've accidentally got myself a couple of weeks behind here. If I can do a mass writing spree later, you never know, I might be able to catch up! **

**Who was I to turn down a chance at a Leon and Arthur fic? Enjoy!**

"Make sure that you rest it, avoid training for a few days if you can, My Lord, and it will be fine."

"Thank you, Gaius." Arthur slid off the stool that he had been perched on for what felt like forever whilst he waited for Gaius to finish patching him up from Odin's ambush. He might have been ultimately victorious against the man, but the fact the other king's men had managed to get him onto his knees in the first place meant that Arthur was supporting his fair share of injuries. He had put off coming to Gaius, however, knowing that the rest of his men had been keeping the physician busy with a constant trickle of wounds that needed treating ever since they had got back. Not to mention he knew the old man was still concerned about what might have been done to Merlin that they didn't know about.

Instead, Arthur had told himself that a slight twinge in his shoulder (a severe sprain, according to a disapproving Gaius) was nothing that he couldn't handle and he would make sure the rest of his men were seen to first. But in reality, he knew what he was doing. He was avoiding his knights. Or rather, he was avoiding one knight in particular, and having found out from Merlin that Leon had broken three fingers and had a nasty gash up his leg from the attack, he was sure that if he was to venture to the physician's chambers, he would see his second in command.

As King of Camelot, there weren't many times that Arthur admitted to hiding from someone. He thought he had been doing well until Merlin started staging loud conversations about what he knew of Leon's schedule to point out where the knight would be at various times in the day. Arthur had simply told him to shut up, but he couldn't use the same tactic on his wife. They had been home for three days now, and Arthur had been doing all that he could to avoid seeing Leon. But that morning, Gwen had looked at him with that glint in her eyes that Arthur knew he wouldn't be able to get away from and demanded that he at least went to see Gaius. He knew that she was hoping that he would bump into his knight there, and Arthur was looking forward to going back to their chambers and showing that he had done as he was told, but not as she wanted.

"I mean it, Arthur, rest it." Arthur chuckled lightly at the look Gaius was giving him. Merlin and Gwen weren't the only ones that knew him too well, and Gaius knew better than most that when Arthur had something on his mind, he tended to take it out through physical means. Dipping his head and promising that he would at least try (Gaius would have him back on the bed checking for signs of fever if Arthur gave in too easily), the King headed towards the door.

He had to admit, his shoulder did feel better now that Gaius had worked his magic and Arthur was thinking about all the duties that he had been putting off for the last few days whilst he had been…well, Arthur wouldn't call it brooding, but he knew that Gwen and Merlin would disagree. Sometimes he hated the fact that his wife and his servant seemed to see things the same way, and their point of view always seemed to be the opposite to his own. But now, Arthur knew that he had some catching up to do, especially if he wanted to make sure that this fragile treaty with Odin was to last.

The corridor seemed deserted as Arthur headed back to his chambers, something that he was more than thankful about. He moved swiftly, not wanting to be interrupted now that he had finally got himself in the right frame of mind to be able to do some work, but before he had made it more than a few steps, the very person that he had been hoping to avoid limped around the opposite corner. Judging by the way Leon stopped dead before continuing at a slightly lower pace, Arthur knew that he had been seen and to simply turn around and walk the other way would have been a bit of a giveaway. No one had said that they blamed Arthur for leading them straight into a trap as of yet, but he knew that Leon had every right to.

The man had told Arthur to wait, to think before he acted, just the way he had been giving the king the same piece of advice for the last decade or so. And just like normal, Arthur had refused to listen, too driven by his desire for revenge in order to use his head rather than his heart. For some reason, the fact that he knew Leon would never say out loud that he blamed Arthur for acting irrationally only made it worse.

"My Lord." Leon simply dipped his head and made to carry on limping past, but Arthur knew that the time had come.

"May I have a word?"

"Of course." Arthur was hard pushed not to flinch at the tone of Leon's voice. He was making it quite clear that Arthur didn't have to ask. He was the King, he commanded people, he didn't ask them. In Arthur's mind, he also couldn't help but think that Leon believed that meant he didn't listen either. Motioning down the corridor, Arthur pulled open the first door he came across and gestured for Leon to go inside.

"What are we doing in here, Sire?"

"I didn't want you to have to walk any further on your bad leg." Arthur responded, half truthfully. He was thinking about his knight's physical discomfort, but he also knew that if they went any further and the tension between them continued to grow, he might just burst in frustration. Leon had always had the power to make him feel like a small child, even more than Uther had been able to.

"You wished to talk to me, Sire?"

"I did…do. I do."

"Sire?"

"Drop the titles, Leon, please." Running a hand through his hair, Arthur sunk into one of the deep chairs there were in the room, realising that he must have entered someone's living chambers. Thankfully, they didn't seem to be in and therefore there was no one to witness the exhausted look on his face other than Leon.

"What is it, Arthur?" Grinning at the fact that Leon could never disobey an order, Arthur sighed. It took him a long moment before he could look his second in command in the eye.

"I've been avoiding you."

"I had noticed. May I ask why? Did I do something to displease you?"

"Leon…no. I'm not my father, you shouldn't care about whether something displeases me or not. It's only Merlin I throw things at, you should know that by now. I…" Arthur trailed off, not being sure what it was that he wanted to say. Did he want Leon to say that he didn't blame him? Or did he want the opposite, did he want his knight to say what no one else would and tell Arthur that he had been an idiot?

"What's going on?" Arthur found that he couldn't look his knight in the eye. Instead, he focused on his own knee, studying the material of his breeches in great depth as he tried to stop the colour from rising up his cheeks.

"I didn't listen to you. I could have got everyone killed by the way I acted, yet if I had listened to you, none of that would have happened."

"Is that what this is about? You're not fifteen anymore, Sire, you make your own decisions, you don't have others to make them for you."

"Why shouldn't I?" Arthur argued, sitting up straighter but not bringing himself to look Leon in the eye. "That is what the Round Table is supposed to be about, and yet I didn't listen to you. I didn't want to listen to you, despite the fact that I knew deep down you were making sense. I wanted to be able to avenge my father's death, and I wasn't thinking of the consequences. We should have waited."

"It was Morgana behind it all, she would have got you where she wanted one way or another." Arthur didn't react to the fact that it seemed to be general knowledge that Morgana knew how to manipulate him each and every time.

"That's not the point. I say I listen to people, and yet I ignored what was military advice for my own personal needs."

"You are the King, Arthur, you have every right to. This was something personal, I would have been surprised if you had listened to me." Arthur finally made himself meet Leon's gaze now that his knight was speaking more frankly. He knew that whilst the man would always be respectful and never overstep his boundaries, when pushed he could also be brutally honest. And right now, that was what Arthur needed from him.

"You knew I wouldn't?"

"I knew you wanted to do what you thought was right, and that was getting there and rescuing my Lord Rodor no matter what. Injustice had been done, and you would never stand for that."

"Maybe…"

"What do you want from me, Arthur?" Leon seemed to have noticed that despite the way that their conversation was going, Arthur didn't seem to be cheering up. The king sighed.

"I want you to tell me I was an idiot, the way you used to do when I did something rash. I want you to tell me that I was foolish for rushing in, that you blame me for your injuries."

"I can't."

"Leon, that was an order."

"I will not lie to you, Arthur."

"You must be thinking it!"

"I'm not." Compared to how steadily Arthur's voice was rising, Leon's remained calm and quiet. He was leaning up against a bed post, taking the weight of his leg but staring down at Arthur sitting somewhat slumped in the chair, a helpless air surrounding him.

"I don't blame you. Like I said before, I knew that you would not listen. You have to follow your heart, Sire, that is what makes you a good King. If you had listened to military strategy every time, Camelot would have been lost, you would have been killed many times over by now. You know I've always tried to get you to trust your instincts."

"Those instincts could have got you killed."

"Maybe. Or they could have saved my life, who was to say that Morgana wouldn't have just got impatient and killed us all if you hadn't moved? What happened did so, Arthur, dwelling on it won't change anything."

"But I should have listened to you."

"Maybe. But you should also stay true to yourself. You can listen but hear the wrong thing as well you know." Arthur knew that they were both talking about Aggravaine and how he had managed to get Arthur to act against his better judgement. "You believed you were doing the right thing, and I never want you to change. So maybe yes, I was annoyed that you dismissed me so easily. But I could never blame you, Arthur. I swore to follow my king, no matter what. I would follow you to the ends of the earth and beyond if that was what your instincts told you was right."

Arthur had had men pledge their loyalty and swear fealty to him before. But never had words touched him so much as they did in that moment. He knew that it was the sort of thing that Merlin would say, and was humbled that people seemed to think so much of him.

"If that is all, Sire?" Arthur merely nodded, allowing Leon to go on his way before he embarrassed himself further. The man didn't blame him because he knew that Arthur was being true to his heart, no matter what the consequences had been. For so many years, people had been telling him to obey others, to react in a certain way in order to make him a good king. But what if they had it wrong, what if he just needed to know when to listen to himself and when to let others have their opinion heard?

Arthur slowly left the room himself, his mind lost in thoughts. But rather than being ashamed of what he had done, unable to face one of his closest confidants, he found himself thinking. Maybe it was time that he started trusting himself as much as others trusted him? Maybe that way, he could make decisions based on his instincts that wouldn't nearly get them all killed?

When Merlin started going on and on about why he couldn't have an afternoon off only two hours later, Arthur listened to his instincts telling him to send the servant to muck out the stables. And this time, he had no doubts that he had done the right thing as a blissful silence fell over his chambers and he finally managed to get some work done.


End file.
